Ah, Valentine’s Day, the time when we celebrate love. And in Star Wars, what bigger driving force (like the pun?) is there than love? As Matthew Stover so wonderfully put it:
“Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars.”
Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? But what happens when love goes wrong? When you’re forced to sever the one you love from the Force? When you realize that your Twi’lek slave is compromising your ability to be a Sith Lord and you are forced to kill her? When your one true love is killed in a suicidal mission and you spend the rest of your life on an aimless path, turning to the Dark Side and then going rogue? Or, when every single person you ever romantically care about dies a horribly tragic death?
Welcome to love—Star Wars Expanded Universe style!
Today, in celebration of that wonderfully impish fellow, Cupid, I’m showcasing four of the most heartbreaking relationships in the EU. So sit back, grab a drink, and prepare yourself to drown your sorrows!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
(Editor’s note: this article contains spoilers for pretty much any EU work featuring love ever.)
1. Nomi Sunrider and Ulic Qel-Droma (Tales of the Jedi comics)
Poor Nomi Sunrider. Her life was pretty awesome—married to a Jedi Knight and mother to a young daughter. Then her husband, Andur, was brutally killed. Nomi did the only thing she could think of—she took up Andur’s lightsaber and became a Jedi in her own right.
Then she met Ulic Qel-Droma, another Jedi. Over the years, the two fought together and became close. They shared cups of caf (okay, not really). Eventually, they fell in love. Could Nomi have found happiness again?
No! Because Ulic had to be a huge jerk and fall to the dark side and join the Sith Lord Exar Kun and kill his own brother!
What’s a girl to do? Well, if you’re like some women in the Star Wars universe, you die, or continue being Hapan queen. But not Nomi. No, Nomi performed one of the most powerful feats ever, against a man she deeply cared for.
She cut Ulic off from the Force.
Talk about heartache! Ulic eventually found redemption and trained Nomi’s daughter in the ways of the Force. Ulic was killed by a spacer and died in Nomi’s arms. A tragic end, for a tragic love.
The moral of this story? Don’t be a jerk and turn to the dark side! It never ends well! Never!
2. Darth Malgus and Eleena Daru (Deceived)
Oh, Darth Malgus. You’ve just destroyed the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, earning you the favor of your Sith Lord bosses. You’re probably up for promotion soon. Isn’t it time to bask in the glory?
Unfortunately not, because one of your co-workers is a big jerk and is trying to take over your big project and totally demean you in front of your boss!
Even worse, they’re using your love against you. Your love for your Twi’lek slave, Eleena, is probably the only good thing about you. Of course, that’s a problem. You’re a Sith Lord, and Sith Lords aren’t supposed to have soft spots for their alien slaves.
Not only that, but the former apprentice of the guy you killed in the Temple is after you, and she’s figured out the one way to make you suffer.
Go after Eleena.
In the end, the Jedi Aryn Leneer decides to let Eleena live, and you breath a sigh of relief. Your next move?
Kill Eleena, of course!
…And Malgus’s heart shrank three sizes that day.
3. Anakin Solo and Tahiri Veila
Young love. What’s not to like? Anakin and Tahiri were two best friends fresh off the Jedi academy, realizing their feelings for each other. They had many adventures and now faced the worst of them all—the Yuuzhan Vong. But Anakin and Tahiri had each other, which made them strong. Tahiri survived torture by the Vong. Anakin rescued her. Later, on another mission, they shared their first kiss. For teenagers, it was all very romantic.
So, of course, Anakin Solo died. His last words? “Kiss Tahiri for me.” And a million hearts broke into tiny, tiny pieces.
(I’m going to try to ignore the fact that, later on, his brother did kiss Tahiri for him.)
To put it bluntly, Anakin was the only Solo kid I cared about. He had a tremendous storyline in the Dark Tide and Edge of Victory series. He was being built up as the next big hero. The love story with Anakin and Tahiri was cute and had a lot of potential.
And Anakin died.
Not only that, but Tahiri’s life went into a tailspin that never truly recovered. Nearly 17 years later, she’s still affected by Anakin’s death. She turned to the dark side, killed Gilad Pellaeon, and left the Jedi Order. Her current occupation in the Fate of the Jedi series is of pseudo bodyguard to Jagged Fel. I understand that losing a person you love in such a tragic manner has got to damage a girl’s psyche, but come on!
Alas, Anakin and Tahiri, we hardly knew ye. May you forever live on in the hearts of fanficcers.
4. Luke Skywalker and Every Woman He Has Ever Cared About
Want to waste some time on Wookieepedia? Go look up Luke Skywalker, and click on the section called “romances.” Read them all. Then mark down how many of his so-called romances ended in a tragic, horrible death.
Go on, I’ll wait.
What did you find? If your answer was “nearly all of them,” you win a prize!
Okay, so not all of them died. Several of them were just minor attractions. S’ybll, a mind witch, tried to kill him. There was Leia, who turned out to be his sister, which is probably just as tragic when you consider that kiss on Hoth.
But let’s look at the “major” romances, shall we?
Gaeriel Captison: dead.
Shira Brie/Lumiya: dead.
Akanah Norand Goss Pell: dead.
Callista Ming: dead.
Mara Jade Skywalker: dead.
See a pattern here? Dead. Dead dead dead. DEAD.
Oh yeah—three of those women, Luke killed himself.
So yeah, Luke? If I were you, I’d just stay single for the rest of my life. Or hey! That’s how he can destroy Abeloth! Ask her to marry him!
Love does conquer all, right?
Written by Nanci