Date Ideas

Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4434 Location: Korriban

Ok, so I have a very important deal-sealing date and I wanted to run an idea by the women in the Cantina. Men to, actually, any advice on this one would be good.

So it'll finally be around 60 degrees outside in NE, so it could be ok to be outside. We have a park near where I'm living and I though maybe I could make her dinner, hide it in the trunk, bring some candles and such, and we could build a huge fire and have dinner. Then we could just hang out the two of us for awhile, talk, have fun, spend time together. What do you guys think?
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Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.

Master Joined: 22 Dec 2010 Posts: 1846

How many dates have you been on with this girl, and what do you mean by "deal-sealing?"
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"Trust not the words of a poet, as he is born to seduce. Yet for poetry to seize the heart, it must ring with the chimes of truth.”

“The world is understood through metaphors. Language is a metaphor-system. Mathematics is a metaphor-system. All real-world schools of magic and religion revolve around the understanding of vast metaphor-systems, symbols as they relate to concepts."

"See, the thing is, everything everyone tells you is a lie. The truth is always bigger than the words we use to describe it."

I'm a girl, but having never actually dated, I'm pretty useless on this one. Wink

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All things die, Anakin Skywalker, even stars burn out.

So this is how liberty dies....with thunderous applause.

Those without swords can still die upon them

The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.

I second LivingJediDream's questions.

Something worth considering with the park idea: is this a park where there would be other people in the general area? I ask for several reasons

1) having people in the area at night is just generally good for safety
2) when you're with a girl the safety issue is even more important (baring you being Jackie Chan its not wise to gamble on being able to handle any danger that might arise), its not worth risking her safety (and yours for that matter) assuming that nothing could go wrong
3) given how guys can be really sketchy these days she may feel very uncomfortable if she's in a situation where there is no crowd for protection in case things go south.

Mind you I'm not suggesting you Caedus would be the sketchy type, just that if this is a budding romance she may be watching much more carefully for anything that could be close to sketchy as you have yet to firmly establish yourself as an honorable guy.

Honestly though I'm with OMB on the take her out to dinner as that solves all of my above 3 issues while still allowing you to have a romantic setting (incidentally I've watched a good number of The Cosby Show seasons, coincidence?)
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Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4434 Location: Korriban

Actually the park will probably not have anyone else in it, but its within sight of the guy's dorm at my campus and there are houses all around. I think I have a friend who will be trying the same thing that night so we should be fine, just in different areas of the park. And she is actually a very close friend, we hang out alone all the time, so this is just kind of a natural progression thing. And also, by 'deal-sealing' i would like to say I mean taking the step from going on a few dates to actually engaging in an exclusive relationship. Don't worry gentlemen, Caedus's intentions are good Wink

I like this girl a lot actually, so I'm being as much of a gentleman as possible without being fake at all.

Haha and Padme you may not have dated, but tell me if a nice guy were to take you on a 3rd or 4th date would this be something that would interest you?
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Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.

Sounds ok then. Just a thought though: if you've got a friend who is going to be doing a similar thing why not arrange it with him so you'll be within shouting distances of each other just in case for safety? (For the record my father raised me to attempt to anticipate the worst case scenario and plan for it so I tend to be on the slightly more paranoid side when its comes to planning things).
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Master Joined: 22 Dec 2010 Posts: 1846

Well, my dates (and relationships) have been... abnormal, so I don't know how useful my advice would be in that regard. I suppose you have to find a balance between aloofness and adulation; you don't want to smother the girl, but you don't want to alienate her either. But that's more relationship advice than advice for a single date.

I'm not quite sure what advice there is to give for this date. If you have a plan, I wouldn't stray from it. I don't see anything intrinsically wrong with what you have planned, but I've never had a date under those or similar circumstances. I think knowing a bit more about the relationship would be useful for meting out advice. I am guessing that this sort of date isn't something you did on the prior dates?
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"Trust not the words of a poet, as he is born to seduce. Yet for poetry to seize the heart, it must ring with the chimes of truth.”

“The world is understood through metaphors. Language is a metaphor-system. Mathematics is a metaphor-system. All real-world schools of magic and religion revolve around the understanding of vast metaphor-systems, symbols as they relate to concepts."

"See, the thing is, everything everyone tells you is a lie. The truth is always bigger than the words we use to describe it."

Important question: Are you a good enough cook to be impressive? Sometimes the whole "It's the thought that counts" thing can go out the window if the food isn't good. Wink

Would it be possible to find a place where you'd get a good view of the sunset? And, if you're not a good cook, or if the fire doesn't pan out (but if you stick to a fire, the candles will be a bit superfluous), you can always opt for a picnic. Be complimentary, but not overly so, not just 'your eyes are like diamonds,' but her dress, her hair, shoes. Think up topics for conversation beforehand, nothing too heavy, but be sure you have well thought out opinions, if you can think up a few good jokes, not one liners or chat up lines, more quirky comments and witty, ironic observations on things. When's the big night? I feel as if I should add the word 'champ' on the end of that sentence.

EDIT: And stay away from roses. Unless they're her favourite flower. And don't mention any other woman but her. For that night she's the only woman you know. For all she would know you were raised by wolves.
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I am a Star Wars fan. That doesn't mean that I hate or love Jar Jar. That doesn't mean I hate or love Lucas, or agree or disagree 100% with him. That doesn't mean I prefer the PT over the OT, or vice versa. That doesn't mean I hate the EU, or even love all of it. These are not prerequisites. Being a man is not a prerequisite. Being a geek is not a prerequisite. The only prerequisite is that I love something about Star Wars. I am a Star Wars fan.

@Caedus: You're idea sounds good, but like Padme, I've never dated so... Wink

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Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.

Master Joined: 29 Feb 2008 Posts: 745 Location: Denver

Everything you suggested sounds great and I do not want to derail a good plan but I have to ask:

Since you know her so well, if a good friend had this plan for the same girl and asked your advice what would you tell your friend? Its a great romantic gesture but not everyone responds well to big presentations - especially in public. If she feels pressured because she does not want to let you down she could miss the point entirely.

I do have a story that ends well when you take a chance in a relationship. When my wife and I were dating she got me a Hendrix box set I was searching for. After only being together for a few dates. Anytime I went into a music store I would ask about it. She went ahead and bought it on ebay and gave it to me - she was nervous about it being too much too soon. To this day its the most thoughtful thing anyone has done for me. This is the same woman that flew me to Montreal for my birthday, bought me an xbox for christmas, and motorcycle helmet (an indication it was time for me to pursue motorcycles after talking myself in and out of it for a long time). Honestly those CDs mean more to me than any of that stuff because it was from the heart.

Go with your instincts - but keep her feelings in mind. Smile

Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4434 Location: Korriban

@bly: depends on the girl. This one happens to like the sweet guestures so I think I'm ok

@OMB: Not to brag or anything, but I am actually a phenomenal cook Very Happy

@Reep: Its not to hard once you do it a few times, dating is easy. Its finding something special that's the tricky part Wink

@Salaris: Actually he and I planned to be close enough to rush to each other's aid if need be. I also was raised to be paranoid.

@LifeisthePath: Actually, its a place for a sunset. Planned that one Smile

Thank you all for your input, and I'll let you know how it goes. I'm really excited actually
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Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.

Caedus, your plans sound good to me. I know I would find it very sweet if a guy did that.
_________________
All things die, Anakin Skywalker, even stars burn out.

So this is how liberty dies....with thunderous applause.

Those without swords can still die upon them

The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.

Master Joined: 29 Feb 2008 Posts: 745 Location: Denver