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Relationships (or lack thereof)
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Relationships (or lack thereof)
 PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:24 pm Reply with quote  
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  Reepicheep
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This has been a really rough week. A while back I posted about my dream girl and how she seemed to be showing interest in me, but I felt too young to commit. Well... I'm older now so I wanted to find her and give it a try. I looked her up online and, lo, there's a picture of her with a big smile in the arms of this... guy. As many have felt in my position, I feel as though my life is over. To top it off I'm sick. Life sucks. Sad

(Feel free to post your own woes/joys.)
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 PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 5:46 pm Reply with quote  
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  Taral-DLOS
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If you don't mind me asking Reep, how old are you (roughly)?

I used to be incredibly unlucky in love. It was actually quite funny just how unlucky. Every single girl I ever had feelings for always found me to be the "friend."

My friend and I drafted a play about it.

But I met the love of my life in the summer after Third Year (May 2007, I was about to turn 21.) We've been married since July 2010.

In my social group, I was the least skilled with the opposite sex, and yet was the first to get married.
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 PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 6:33 pm Reply with quote  
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  Crash Override
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Do you know for sure that the guy isn't a relative?

I used to have trouble with fixating upon one person, but it's really not worth the grief that you create for yourself, especially if you were never in a romantic relationship with her. The problem is that you create an idealized version of what you would hope for a relationship to be like with that person and it's like an absolute best case scenario, and even if you were to get into a relationship with the person, it probably wouldn't meet that.

And you can't let yourself focus on someone that is unavailable to the point that it precludes you having happiness with someone else. You have to move on and find someone else. Spending your life waiting for someone to become available inevitably leads to that same idealization, if it's not already a product of it, and the actual relationship isn't going to match it.


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Re: Relationships (or lack thereof)
 PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 6:56 pm Reply with quote  
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  Caedus_16
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Reepicheep wrote:
This has been a really rough week. A while back I posted about my dream girl and how she seemed to be showing interest in me, but I felt too young to commit. Well... I'm older now so I wanted to find her and give it a try. I looked her up online and, lo, there's a picture of her with a big smile in the arms of this... guy. As many have felt in my position, I feel as though my life is over. To top it off I'm sick. Life sucks. Sad

(Feel free to post your own woes/joys.)


Its tough. I've been there but I've discovered that contrary to popular belief there isn't just one person for you. Its different to realize this, but I have recently. Relationships are also difficult in the beginning. Sometimes you just have to throw in and go for it, maybe it'll work out. You'll never know if you don't try.
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 PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 7:20 pm Reply with quote  
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  Jedi Joe
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Sorry to hear about that, Reep... It always sucks when someone you're interested in is taken already. Sad

I'm 18 and I have never had a girlfriend. I socialize with females very well, and I have several female friends, but I've never really had the motivation to commit to anything serious. Confused


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 PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 9:18 pm Reply with quote  
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  Salaris Vorn
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Taral-DLOS wrote:

I used to be incredibly unlucky in love. It was actually quite funny just how unlucky. Every single girl I ever had feelings for always found me to be the "friend."


In a weird way it makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one to have this happen to.

As for you Reep I would agree with the rest here, there is no one person. It may totally suck right now but it will eventually stop hurting. Just don't let your pain overwhelm you to leave you just wishing for the past to be different, otherwise you might miss an opportunity in the present to have a bright future with some other girl.
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 PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 6:38 am Reply with quote  
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  Reepicheep
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I will be 18 on the 20th.

Crash Override wrote:
Do you know for sure that the guy isn't a relative?

It had crossed my mind. I'll be seeing her today, so I'll know for sure.

You guys are giving excellent advice and I thank you for it, although it really isn't what I want to hear. Eventually I'll have to let her go, but for right now I just want to listen to sad songs and reflect.
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Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.


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 PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 11:23 am Reply with quote  
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  Caedus_16
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There's nothing wrong with that in healthy doses man. Getting over someone is a process and it takes different lengths of time for everyone. Just do what helps and get some space if you need it and one day you'll look at her and it won't really feel like anything.
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 PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 6:57 pm Reply with quote  
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  Reepicheep
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Yup, he isn't a relative. He seems like a nice guy though, so *grits teeth* I'm happy for her. She's such a special girl, she deserves the best so if he's the right one for her, I can't say much if I really care about her.

It was pretty hard to see her again though. Thanks, guys, for taking the time to listen to my drama by the way. Smile

I'm quiet tired of hearing "there's plenty of fish in the sea", because right now the sea feels like a puddle. I'll have to remember to never say that to anyone who's gone through heartbreak.
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Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.


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 PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 7:37 pm Reply with quote  
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  Caedus_16
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Reepicheep wrote:
Yup, he isn't a relative. He seems like a nice guy though, so *grits teeth* I'm happy for her. She's such a special girl, she deserves the best so if he's the right one for her, I can't say much if I really care about her.

It was pretty hard to see her again though. Thanks, guys, for taking the time to listen to my drama by the way. Smile

I'm quiet tired of hearing "there's plenty of fish in the sea", because right now the sea feels like a puddle. I'll have to remember to never say that to anyone who's gone through heartbreak.


You know we'll always listen.

And I'm by no means throwing out the cliche "fish in the sea" statement. I understand that you want that girl and that you can't have her right now. Its hard. If you really really want it wait it out. If you get over it then congratulations, but both are hard. I've participated in both and there is no better option. I think you just gotta follow what you feel is right and what you want the most.
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 PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:34 pm Reply with quote  
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  Reepicheep
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I wasn't directing the "fish" statement at you by the way (or anyone here per se), it's more what I'm hearing in the "real world". I just threw that on as an afterthought.

Caedus_16 wrote:
If you really really want it wait it out. If you get over it then congratulations, but both are hard. I've participated in both and there is no better option. I think you just gotta follow what you feel is right and what you want the most.


Hmm. No one either online or in-person has given me that advice so far. I find it intriguing. By waiting, you mean waiting until if/when they break up? What if that never happens? I'm so green at this sort of thing, the whole thing just confuses the heck out of me. Today, not in an angry way but just in a confused way, I asked God 'why'? Why let me meet the girl of my dreams and then take her away? If I have to let her go, it will be incredibly hard to settle for less. She just won't leave my mind.
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Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.


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 PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 8:40 pm Reply with quote  
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  Caedus_16
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Remember last year when I broke up with that one girl? We'd dated 18 months and I'd been so certain I'd marry her and I wanted no one else. She was so perfect for me. But I changed and so did she and what we both wanted changed. Now I've begun dating a new girl. We're 7 months in and I'm incredibly happy, I wouldn't want to go back to my old relationship even if it was available. I realize your situation is different but you're gonna mourn. And I'm definitely not recommending that you just wait around for her to be single, by all means meet new people, have new experiences and such. But if she becomes single and you haven't moved on then maybe you can have your shot. If she's that amazing then having her in your life as a friend may have to cut it for now. Its hard to look at that way but its true. If you're in her life then maybe you'll have a shot, or maybe you'll become comfortable in the friendship and meet someone new and follow that path instead. You never know, it all boils down to what is most important to you and what you want the most.
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 PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:01 pm Reply with quote  
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  Crash Override
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Well, I got used by a girl this week and it sucks.


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 PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:24 pm Reply with quote  
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  Reepicheep
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Dang. Was it serious or something you'll get over tomorrow?
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Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.


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 PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:37 pm Reply with quote  
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  Crash Override
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It's a girl I've known for a long time and dated previously. She cheated on her boyfriend with me and I was led to believe she broke up with him because of this, but she didn't.


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