A short list an my reasons for them. I'll keep it brief, as we all know on movies I can get long winded...
Transformers 2: I am with you on this one all the way Reep. It made no sense, it was overlong, and it intercut action scenes with shots of dogs humping one another. The addition of exceedingly offensive African-American stereotype robots didn't help and then the worst: robo-balls...
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: I'll admit, for a bad movie this still had great classic moments. The problems with it are the same that many have with the re-done Star Wars films. The CGI feels out of place and the plot of the new addition was extremely lacking. Shia was unnecessary in every way, he added nothing to the story and if anything took away from it by being completely unbelievable in his role. Bringing back an old love interest was ok but it felt like almost everything resembling that move was done just to scream "Look, its an Indiana Jones movie! See its like before!" And the nuked fridge scene was so bad. I'll admit that yes, they did testing out there and yes, there were witnesses but to have a man jump in a lead fridge and be launched around 2 miles (not to mention way up in the air) and then crawl out with nothing more than some bruising is ridiculous. The fallout alone would have killed him in weeks, not to mention the impact that hard would have shattered him internally. I admit we have to leave logic behind with Indy films but good god....
Catwoman: If I have to elaborate on this one, we have more differing views on films than I thought.
Episode II: Attack of the Clones: I'm going to get crucified for this one, but its true. If this were any film other than a Star Wars film it would have been deemed bad enough to get bumped to straight-to-dvd or would have been so completely panned that it would have killed a budding franchise. Hayden Christiansen's acting has to be some of the worst I have ever seen on film, and while Portman is usually brilliant here she seems wooden. The dialogue seems forced with almost every scene and the story was very much written by a man who had forgotten a lot of his original trilogy as the timelines don't match well.
Devil: M. Night Shyamalan was a freak accident in the beginning. The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs were all clever films worthy of the beginning of a legacy. The Village was a step down and Lady in the Water was a poor story, but Devil is where he really fell from his pedestal. The man wrote a scene where an extremely stereotypical hispanic man dropping a piece of toast on the ground and proclaiming "When the Devil's around toast falls jelly-side down and baby's hit their heads on coffee tables." Goodbye Mr. Shyamalan, it was a good ride in the beginning...
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: This was a step down from an already crumbling franchise. When you can tell the main actor hates his character its probably time for the franchise to die. Sadly, this film had potential. Ian McShane was a decent choice for the pirate Blackbeard and Penelope Cruz plays an attractive, feisty Latina with the same vigor that she has ALWAYS played that role. Sadly this is the extent of the good qualities (outside Geoffry Rush, that man is a gold mine for that dying franchise). The plot holes run thick. For instance, Why would an ancient fountain older than mankind open with a Spanish password (a newer language) and silver chalices clinked together that were made at most 50-100 years before the events of the film? And what purpose did the zombies serve other than to be, well, zombies? Their role was achieved in the earlier films with large old sea men. Making them zombies did absolutely nothing. Ugh...
Star Trek: The Final Frontier: Spock's half-brother finds religion and hijacks the Enterprise and brainwashes a lot of the crew to fly him to the center of the universe to see God, who winds up being a selfish being trapped and trying to escape. Nuff said.
Brokeback Mountain: While it is hailed for a film depicting homosexuality in a positive light it does not actually do so. It shows 2 men who had a strange night and could never get over it, and let their confusion destroy not only their lives but also devastate the lives of their entire families, leaving them both divorced or with dead spouses and children who hate them because rather than be fathers they selfishly focused on themselves. It promotes the worst kind of parenting imaginable: the kind where you forget you have children and that they now always come first, no matter what.
There are a lot more films on my worst list so maybe I'll make another post later. Coming up in the next one will be things like Sucker Punch, or possibly Alexander or even Plan 9 From Outer Space.
Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.
Last edited by Caedus_16 on Fri Nov 11, 2011 11:29 am; edited 1 time in total