(Jedi Expedition) Character Posting/Approval Thread

Knight Joined: 18 Nov 2011 Posts: 442

Ok Guys its a Z-40 Banshee class cruiser
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"You see that I was right, now, dont you?. The truth is written in blood"

Ok several things here: first before you can begin playing in the RPG we need a majority vote in approval of your character (we are still waiting on Mara, Skuldren, and IR2). Of those 3 we need two more to vote in approval of your character. It's my fault for not being clear on that point so don't worry you aren't in trouble.

Second, its ok that you introduced your character and I don't think there were many other ways to introduce your character then what you did. That being said I don't have the authority to unilaterally approve of that introduction. So if any of the current players have feedback/questions we can address that here (a character is normally introduced after the majority approves the character at which point we have also worked out how the character will be introduced as well). I do want to ask whether you intend to have your character side with the Jedi or side with the Sith/Knights of Pain who I assume are the thugs you character is talking to (note that the Knights of Pain torture to death all deserters). Either option is fine but it will greatly impact how the rest of the story unfolds so knowing what direction you intend to go is important for us to know.

Third, I'm slightly confused by your ship. I think both Life and I were under the impression that it was a single person starfighter due to the initial numbering being so close to the Z-95. Now it sounds like you are talking about a shuttle (smaller than a stock light freighter but larger than a fighter). So if you could just clarify what class of ship you are talking about (as an aside a frigate is a warship with a minimum of 200 crew and a cruiser, while more ambiguous, is also a capital class ship).

I know its a bummer to have to wait a little longer and I'm glad you are so eager to join in but if you could just be patient we'll have all the formalities finished soon (please understand that at least one other member is a college student who is preoccupied with finals so as a result it may take a few days to get the majority vote).
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Knight Joined: 18 Nov 2011 Posts: 442

Ok no problem. Ive typed a lot and I know now it was wrong of me. I have a great story forming in my mind.

I made up the ship. Its a small frigate with a compartment that holds just 4 but has two cargo bays although these are very small. Its not a typical frigate size its just something I made up.
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"You see that I was right, now, dont you?. The truth is written in blood"

Last edited by Salaris Vorn on Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:09 pm; edited 1 time in total

I understand about the ship. I'm a little iffy on the classification as "frigate" since that breaks with cannon ship designations but I'll reserve judgement until others weigh in (so you understand where I'm coming from: I was one of those big fans of the X-Wing video games and books so I have perhaps a greater interest in continuity of ship classifications than others might).

Also for future reference a thing about posting in the RPG: an unwritten rule is that you make a single post and then wait for someone else to make a post. This is particularly important when interacting with other player characters to allow them to react to your post. This is also a courtesy to avoid having one player dominate a story or situation (such as combat) and end it before anyone else has a chance to be involved. Practically this is also done to avoid having one character get chronologically far ahead of the rest of the players and then spend several days (or weeks if one was especially ambitious) waiting for the rest of the players to catch up.

In the mean time you might want to look through this thread which lists the rules of dos/don'ts (don't worry about rules 11, 13a-13b regarding introduction of new characters, we've stopped following that rule but haven't officially removed it): http://www.eucantina.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=231
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FYI to all: I've updated this thread: http://www.eucantina.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=29883#29883

The primary update is including brief bios of the Jedi Commandos and Knights of Pain. I've incorporated many of Life's art work into the Knights of Pain bio and integrated the ranking system we discussed. I also added a new thing with the hash marks: shamed individuals can turn on one another in an effort to have their slate wiped clean.

I've also tried to keep the minor character list current. If there are other things people spot as being out of date let me know.
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Knight Joined: 18 Nov 2011 Posts: 442

Im going to change the type of ship Jori travels in so Im looking into that side of things.

Hes an extremely paranoid character but is powerful in the force. He hates being ordered about and wants to be independent. However what he doesnt realise is he needs a cause to fight for and the plan is he will find it. At this stage hes on the fringe of what has gone on as Im not confident having him interact just yet with the main players in what to me is a brilliant story so fair play to all concerned.

I feel bad kinda intruding on it but Im enjoying the story I have concoted for Jori Septen. People are free to use him themselves if they wish. Just pm me and we can work it out.

Hes just met a shadowy character who isnt what he appears. I dont want to give anything away just yet but Jori is going to have a decision to make soon. His master is on his tail but I dont envision him lasting the distance. I want to make Septen an interesting character for everyone on here. I hope so far Ive achieved that.

I plan for Jori to join the main group and add my "villain" with everyones approval of course to the story. I just have to be confident enough to do that. Im going to add more history to both characters.

Im a little intimidated it has to be said. You guys and girls are brilliant. Im a complete novice. Im a bit scared. I know its silly but the last thing I want are for people to be angry or annoyed with me. You guys are great.
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"You see that I was right, now, dont you?. The truth is written in blood"

So far as Jori's master goes: since we have planned a time warp it will be difficult to carry that plot point (however not impossible). Just plan on it being a very gradually developing point.

Following the lore we've created the Knights of Pain don't allow other underworld organizations to exist in their territory. Without telling us any specifics/spoiling the surprise can you at least clue us in whether the shadowy figure fits in as a Knight of Pain or did you plan on him being allied to some other group? (If it is the latter we can see how to work things out that don't break the RPG "cannon" that we've established).

From my perspective you've created a very interesting character in Jori and I am interested in seeing his story develop. And don't be worried about being a novice, we all start out somewhere (my first RPG was the Thrawn era one on this forum). The RP forum isn't really any different from the rest of the Cantina in treatment of rookies, in both cases we want to help you start out and feel welcome being a member of our community.

You're writing/RP posts seem just fine. Just a minor editorial comment: bold spoken dialogue and use italics for thoughts. (FYI so you aren't confused in normal text italics are typically used for the names of ships). This makes it easier for other players to follow your posts and quickly look back on things to get the gist of what is going on when writing their own posts. I've also found it helps me make sure I'm staying in character as well as helping to make sure an outside reader can follow my train of thought. Just look back on our previous posts if you need some examples of that posting style. Please note: this criticism is meant with the best of intentions of helping you start off by learning from what we've found works best.

Another bit of advice: create a document (Word or Google doc for example) where you can write out all of your character's background details as well as write up an entire back story plot. I did that with my character and found that allows me to slowly develop things and work on my back story behind the scenes until I'm totally satisfied that it is ready. When I feel the back story is ready and the time is appropriate to include some of those details in a post I can just copy and paste sections into a post with minor tweaking to be a flashback. Doing that also removed a lot of pressure of feeling that I needed to post the back story or else forget the ideas I had come up with. Even if some details never make it to a post I've found being able to go back and read the back story I've created helps me get inside my character's head and understand how Will might react to a given scenario.
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Knight Joined: 18 Nov 2011 Posts: 442

I appreciate the support.

My plan for Jori was that his shadowy ally is a sith but not a Sith Lord. Hes what they call an Emissiary of the sith. If thats an issue I can make him out to be part of a criminal organisation who recognise the potential in Jori.

His master was supposed to meet his grisly end at the hands of the dark adversary, something that prompts Jori to return to the jedi path but wants revenge. I hadnt worked out that far ahead but I do want him to join the core group and be a part of the team after the other events have happened.

He learns that he needs to be part of something greater then he. He needs to honour his masters death and is able to leave his past life as a Slave firmly in the past.

I will need help in integrating him into the core group. For that someone may have to write that part. I can then take it from there.

Theres a particular emotional scene I want to write. Remember the original superman film when Supermans father played by the great Glen Ford passes from a heart attack and Superman says "All those powers and I couldnt save him"

Well thats going to happen to Septen. He has the force ability to heal himself as he did when he was injured by the sandperson. Only this time his masters injhuries are too severe and he cant save him. I can picture him over the body and he turns to face the dark adversary and the music is like the music in AOTC when Anakinj attcks the sandpeople. Jori goes on the offensive against my other character.
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"You see that I was right, now, dont you?. The truth is written in blood"

Well the only Sith in the known galaxy are Modero and Reaver (at least I think according to the events leading up to TOR the Sith are believed to be gone from the galaxy).

However, we do have a former Sith, now Dark Jedi organization: the Knights of Pain (created for this RP). As Force users they would easily recognize the benefit of recruiting Jori. If you want to know more about them check out this thread which has their group bio: http://www.eucantina.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1191

As for the rest I'm not really sure how to make it compatible with the time warp we have planned immediately following Sullust. Perhaps someone else has an idea though.
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Perhaps Jori could side with the Knights of Pain and be part of the attack that damages the Saber's Hilt hyperdrive? As a result Jori gets sucked along too. Since we planned on having the CEC XS end up in a different part of the galaxy than the Hilt perhaps the time warp could send Jori to an area with a Jedi Enclave? At that stage he meets his former master who gave him up for dead when his trail mysteriously went cold 10 years ago.

From there the rest could be played out more or less as was desired in the original plot for Jori (perhaps the shadowy figure executes Jori's master by torture when Jori "fails" his initiation trial of having to torture his master to death?). The only thing that would have to be added would be some sort of dramatic escape from the Knights of Pain since they would normally torture to death someone who proves to be "weak" like Jori.

On another note I have some minor concerns with the latest post by Revan in the RPG thread. Namely word of the activities on Sullust seem to have spread at an unusually fast pace given that we had been building those events where all the main characters were doing their best not to attract attention. I'm behind on the latest cannon for the time period but is it also accurate to attribute so much coordinated disturbance to Mandos or suggesting that there is an organized Sith remnant in the known galaxy?

I'm also just wondering where exactly the assassinations of high profile targets is going. If that is a reference to the Knights of Pain I think future references to such activities should portray it in the light of organized crime hits/pirates try to strong arm local politicians rather than something more sinister (seeing as at this point most Knigts of Pain would be functioning very similar to any other organized crime or pirate group so probably wouldn't earn much more notice than the activities of a Hutt cartel). Even the few Knights of Pain remnants seeking to restore the Sith Empire would be very careful and, like Palps centuries later, would be waiting for the opportune moment to strike and avoiding attracting unwanted attention in the meantime (not that they wouldn't assassinate people but it would be done in a way that minimizes the amount of attention it attracts). So I don't think any of that needs a rewrite but just something to consider with future posts.
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Knight Joined: 18 Nov 2011 Posts: 442

Im on board with Jori being a member of the Knights Of Pain and ultimately escaping. Im also on board that he damages the hyperdrive.

Im not expecting all my ideas to play out. As I said Im a novice at this. If my character is causing too much trouble to the overall story he can be killed off. Not by me as I like him too much but by others.

I may be out of my depth here. The honourable thing is to swim to safety so to speak. Get out and leave it to the experts. Im beginning to realise to paraphrase Luke in Jedi. "Im endangering the rpg, I shouldnt have joined"

If my contribution is in some way ruining the great work you guys have done with this then one of the Mods can delete my character and posts and Ill join a brand new one from the very start. That way Ill be in on the ground floor.

I realised I was the last one to post in the rpg thread so I can delete them so I have. Im sorry for this. I really feel ill end up messing this RPG up and thats the last thing I want.

I wish to thank everyone for allowing me to participate in a small way.

Ive learned a lot from it and am better joining as I have said a new RPG if you guys are starting another one. And if you will have me of course.

May the force be with you all
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"You see that I was right, now, dont you?. The truth is written in blood"

wait time out there! You aren't endangering the RPG at all! We just need to work things though and I really think we've gotten very far in figuring out how to fit your character in perfectly.

I came off too strong in being concerned about cannon and my criticism was probably far too harsh. My sincerest apologies for that. I should have been more clear on this point too: all of your posts were in concept A-ok and at most just required a little tweaking to fit perfectly with the rest of the RPG. With regard to the post about Jori's master (which I critiqued too harshly) a few tweaks (for example have the master sent on the trail of who hired Jori instead of direct info on Sullust) and things would flow fine with the rest of the RPG.

So please don't loose hope and abandon the RPG, I (and I'm sure everyone else) wants to help you work out how to get your character to join.
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Knight Joined: 18 Nov 2011 Posts: 442

No apology needed.

Its just my feelings on it. The last thing I wanted to do is rock the continuity and canon boat. Im a newbie, I have no right to cause issues and problems with an established RPG which is a brilliant story.

I thought I could do a good story but realised I was too ambitious. I was a bit out of my depth and rather risk the integrity and goodwill of you guys I decided to take a step back.

You have nothing to apologise for.

Ill will return to one. I promise you have not seen the last of Jori Septen.
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"You see that I was right, now, dont you?. The truth is written in blood"

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