Gripe of the Day

Knight Joined: 05 Oct 2011 Posts: 362 Location: England

Thanku Dannik it was a pretty rough day.

Sorry to hear it, Weeto.

My story of the day: I was taking my turn manning the fitting room at work. A lady with a small child was trying on clothes. Her child begins to throw a tantrum over something or the other. This is an everyday occurrence in Old Navy, so I didn't think much of it, other than the kid's shrieks were annoying. After about five minutes, a women several dressing rooms over decides to yell, "Oh my God, shut up! If you don't shut that kid up, I will!" The mother was livid. She finds my manager. She complains to my manager that I did not do anything. She demands my manager call the cops. She waits outside the dressing room until the other woman comes out. They proceed to have an altercation.

So, that was my day.
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All things die, Anakin Skywalker, even stars burn out.

So this is how liberty dies....with thunderous applause.

Those without swords can still die upon them

The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.

Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4400 Location: Korriban

I agree with both women in that scenario...
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Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.

I completely believe in controlling your child. My parents never allowed me to behave in such a manner in public and working retail, I grow sick of parents who do nothing. That said, I was rather shocked that someone would loudly threaten to, "shut the kid up for her,"
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All things die, Anakin Skywalker, even stars burn out.

So this is how liberty dies....with thunderous applause.

Those without swords can still die upon them

The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.

Master Joined: 09 Jun 2009 Posts: 1410

The problem is if they're very little children, 2-3 yrs old, punishing isn't what's needed. Nine times out of ten, they're tired and/or hungry, and they're having a meltdown. Mom needs to quit shopping -- which is not more important than her child's welfare -- an take her child home and see to his/her's welfare.

I can' tell you the number of times I've witnessed this same thing. I know those little kids had been dragged from pillar to post shopping. It's past lunch, they're tired, they're hungry and they need a break. Even older kids, 4-6, can reach their limit with this kind of thing. Honestly, imo, if the kid's having a meltdown, it's the parent at fault here.

People, take your kids home and let them have some fun down time, a meal and a nap. How much fun was shopping for half the day when you were 2-6? Why do you expect your little ones to think it's the best thing since ice cream?

The worst I ever saw was this mother with a really little one, a baby really because he was a crawler. She was way in the back of the store, and she just put him down and let him crawl. 3 times he crawled all the way up to the front of the store (we're talking a really big store here) where a female customer would retrieve him, and take him back to his mother. 3 times! The mother was so blase about it, and she'd just put her baby down again and let him go. This was in a very upscale neighborhood and store. The mother was dressed to the nines. Obviously, her wardrobe was a lot more important than her baby. Talk about clueless.

So you just know that baby was going to be throwing tantrums in a store in a couple of years.
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Roqoo Depot co-founder.

I agree with Cerrinea on this one. 9/10 times I see a kid having a tantrum its a little kid that obviously needs a nap and/or food. Punishment in this case is just treating the symptom instead of the cause and just letting the parent pretend that their neglect isn't the reason there is a problem.

From what I've observed at malls parents with kids throwing tantrums often convey an attitude that they expect to continue to live exactly like they did before having a kid and the kid has to adapt to their parents "needs" not the other way around. Sometimes the kid is out of line crying that they can't have every toy on the shelf but more often it looks like parental neglect.

Padme' is of course right that parents that do nothing is not acceptable. At the very least it is disrespectful to everyone else. But sadly not surprising since if a parent doesn't put their kid ahead of themselves why would they put a complete stranger ahead of their "needs."

EDIT: Just to clarify I'm not suggesting that parent's shouldn't be allowed to punish their kids when called for. Just wanted to be clear (especially to Mara) that I don't disprove of the way anyone here was raised or chooses to raise their kids.
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EUC Staff Joined: 09 Nov 2011 Posts: 1204 Location: Nirn

My gripe: Mum was walking the dog this morning, and our dog tends to do this thing where she puts up her haunches, crouches and goes into tiger/stalker mode. Then she charges at full pelt towards the other dog and just stops as soon as she gets near and does the normal dog greetings; all very calm and normal. Obviously whenever she does this we apologise profusely, and she did this this morning and these people freaked out, my mum apologised and they started saying "We're going to effing punch you in the effing face you effing c" and threatened to follow her home. Scary.
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There's always a bigger fish - Qui Gon Jinn.

You shall learn that history is an intricate weaving of many events. No one thing can be understood without the proper context.

The best techniques are passed on by the survivors.

Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4400 Location: Korriban

I am just not ok
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Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.

@Dannik: do you keep your dog on a leash? I don't approve of what those people said to your mom after the dog showed she meant no harm. Threatening to follow your mom and do physical harm is not OK after the fact. That being said if you don't keep the dog on a leash they may have perceived you as being irresponsible at best and at worst approving your dog attacking other animals if the mood struck her.

Just something to consider but it is possible that those people have had their dog get threatened/attacked by another dog where the owner didn't really care what their dog did. Your dog may have just been the straw that broke the camel's back.

I may just be a bit sensitive here because several dog owners in my neighborhood don't keep their dogs on a leash or fence in their yard so their dogs regularly run wherever they please. Since my cat is deaf this is particularly upsetting since she wouldn't hear a dog that decided to run into our yard to chase her. (thankfully it has never happened) No one in my family blames the dogs but we all get very miffed at the owners we perceive as being irresponsible. Not to the point where we would threaten them like those people threatened your mom but it still upsets us a lot.

Again I don't approve of how they spoke to your mother afterwards but their anger is not necessarily completely irrational.
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EUC Staff Joined: 09 Nov 2011 Posts: 1204 Location: Nirn

Well, no, but I do understand your point. A normal reaction is somewhere between "Oh no, a dog is running towards my dog and/or me, that person should control their dog. Oh, hold on, it's fine now, it's calm" and then laugh or say oh, it's fine. Or they could say "Could you call your dog and put it on a lead". Obviously, I don't expect everyone to laugh off a potentially dangerous situation, but once they realise our dog is a big ol' softie, they're fine with it, especially people who own dogs. If some other dog attacked my dog, I'd get angry, but I would never talk to another person like that.

But yes, I understand it can be scary to have a dog hurtling towards you, but I would expect dog owners to understand as soon as she stopped. I would understand them shouting while she's running, but not after.

And I found out that they used their buggy with their baby in it as a shield between my dog and theirs Shocked

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There's always a bigger fish - Qui Gon Jinn.

You shall learn that history is an intricate weaving of many events. No one thing can be understood without the proper context.

The best techniques are passed on by the survivors.

Master Joined: 09 Jun 2009 Posts: 1410

I agree completely with Cerrinea here. Assuming you have a "regular size" dog (golden retriever size etc.) and it only stops a meter or so from the other animal there is no way to make the determination that the dog is not hostile until it is practically on top of you. It doesn't sound like your dog is on a leash either so practically speaking once the dog is on the move you have no means of stopping it which forces the recipient to determine what to do.

To be honest if I had been in their place (pet and baby at stake) I would run at it shouting to scare it off and if that didn't work I would tackle the dog. Afterwards I would still be furious even with an apology since I had no means of knowing that the dog was not hostile. Like Cerrinea I wouldn't speak as they chose to but I wouldn't be forgiving either.

Obviously the people your mom dealt with are very odd people since they have an strange list of priorities. But I would also say that you've been lucky that most people have been understanding and that more people aren't still angry after the fact.
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EUC Staff Joined: 09 Nov 2011 Posts: 1204 Location: Nirn

I understand, everyone reacts differently, I was just saying how I'd react. But I completely how completely terrifying it can be to have a potentially dangerous unknown animal coming at you. I wouldn't be surprised if people got annoyed or angry, I'd totally accept that and apologise.

JSYK, we're looking into getting her some special training or a special training collar because she needs to stop.
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There's always a bigger fish - Qui Gon Jinn.

You shall learn that history is an intricate weaving of many events. No one thing can be understood without the proper context.

The best techniques are passed on by the survivors.

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