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 PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:05 am Reply with quote  
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  FatalFist
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Usually if you give someone 'too much attention'...they tend to forget how special you truly are...I know this sounds snobby....but with some ppl, its true....
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About the whole 'jibes' before other frnds...(I hope they were jibes and not insults)...I dont know how its supposed to be with girls...but with boys...thats pretty much all we ever do Rolling Eyes .....a jibe here and there...nobody gets too serious or anything.....sometimes we overdo it and then apologise.....Me and my 2 best buds hav a pact(NO making fun of the other guy when in company,though none of us truly ever remembers it)
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Your Ex-Friend probably thinks that you "Over-Did" the jibes on your part....Maybe you said sth in public she felt reaaaaally bad abt.....And so she thinks that you need a piece of your own medicine...though she should've talked abt it...and apparently she hasnt Sad
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 PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:58 am Reply with quote  
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  Mara Jade Skywalker
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Well...girls are a little more sensitive, and I don't think we tease as much as guys do, but it happens often enough. So we both had our share of jibes that were thrown back and forth...and I suppose that could have had something to do with it.

My general consensus is that is was one of two things:

1. She just lost faith in the friendship as I offended her about something and/or teased her one too many times or some personality trait or other of mine that she belatedly found out about didn't bode well with her. *shrugs*

2. Her mom said we didn't need to be such 'best chums' anymore. Nothing against her mom, but she never did seem to be comfortable with the whole friendship deal. There was always some kind of funny something or other that bugged me whenever I'd see her mom. I mean, don't get me wrong, her mom was really nice, I really liked her. But I always just got this...feeling, that she wasn't all that happy with our close friendship. My friend even told me one time, "Yeah...Mom says we need to be careful about being such close friends." I never really understood what she meant, but I said okay and pretty much forgot about it. So I could see her mom telling her that she didn't really want us hanging out anymore, and being upset about the proclamation, she could take that out on me by teasing me and ignoring me. Making it seem as if she were mad at me instead. And the reason I can see that so clearly, is because that's probably how I would react if the same thing happened to me. I would be mad, and for whatever twisted reason, would take it out on the other person.

So anyway...those are my two scenarios. The former is much more broad than the latter, but I've always held some little hope that it was the latter. That way it means that, had it not been for outside influence, we would still be the best of friends, and it wasn't a change of heart of her part.

But anyway...I guess it's just one of those things. You struggle through it, you eventually get it worked out or you just put it behind you, and Life goes on.
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 PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:41 pm Reply with quote  
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  Darth Judicar
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Mara, I know exactly what that feels like . . . trust me, it's happened to me once too often. By now, I've learned not to make any really close attachments, because, in my eyes, they all die out anyway. But I get the impression that you're more devoted than I am, so just be careful before you become close friends with someone. Give it some time to develop before you declare yourselves "Best Chums". Hope that kinda helps . . .
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Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
-The Code of the Sith

In mourning . . . Crying or Very sad


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 PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 2:32 pm Reply with quote  
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  Mara Jade Skywalker
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Yeah, I know. Thanks for the advice. I thought it went kind of fast, too, but didn't think too much of it because both parties seemed to be in agreement. If you know what I mean. But I guess it really was too fast...we didn't quite know each other like we thought we did. Like for instance, my other best friend, I've gotten to know her slowly over 10 years, and I'd call that a very comfortable best friendship. So I definitely think that could have had something to do with it as well. Which, as you said, makes me very wary these days.

I guess it may just be a bunch of bad ingredients mixed together that made for a bad turnout. God's got a reason for all of it, even if I don't understand, and so I'll just have to trust Him with where it goes.
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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 12:23 pm Reply with quote  
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  Anakinlover89
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Yeah becoming best friends takes time. It seems to me Mara that you both rushed your friendship. I think you two really didn't get to know each other.
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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 1:53 pm Reply with quote  
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  Caedus_16
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The whole 'best friends' label never sat right with me. I've got a whole group of people I feel really close to and I don't think I could ever really have a best friend. Also, I know what you mean with the parent thing Mara. I did have someone I was rather close to when he and I were younger. His mom always saw me as a bad influence (can't imagine why). They sheltered him and when he started to break out of that they blamed me and a couple of his other friends. Sometimes a parent worries about the friends being too different from the way they want them to turn out. Believe it or not, I've seen that several times.
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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 5:10 pm Reply with quote  
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  Mara Jade Skywalker
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Well...I've decided on a course of action, with some counsel from my mom. I'm doing my best to let all the bitterness seep away, and I'm going to try to start anew, but slowly. First thing's first, we need to speak to each other again. So, I'll see her tonight and I'm going to invite her out to coffee. Very simple, fairly short, won't take a big chunk of time or commitment. And I don't care if we talk about the weather the entire time, but it's just a first step. So...hopefully (if she's willing), we can build it back up again.

Anyway...I'm excited that I've finally decided on a course of action...it's the happiest I've been about the whole situation in months. And I haven't even asked her yet! So I'll let ya'll know how it goes. Thanks for all the advice/encouragement/and what all, guys!
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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:24 pm Reply with quote  
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  Caedus_16
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Good Luck!
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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:54 pm Reply with quote  
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  Mara Jade Skywalker
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Ah, she actually sounded interested! She ended with, "Well I'll ask Mom, but it should be fine. See you Wednesday!"

Sorry, I'm just really excited. Hopefully it all pans out, and guess will see how it goes! Smile
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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 8:32 pm Reply with quote  
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  Salaris Vorn
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Mara Jade Skywalker wrote:
Ah, she actually sounded interested! She ended with, "Well I'll ask Mom, but it should be fine. See you Wednesday!"

Sorry, I'm just really excited. Hopefully it all pans out, and guess will see how it goes! Smile


Well the best of luck to you! I hope that come Wednesday you have good news. As Yogi Berra once said "It isn't over till its over" Very Happy
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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:43 pm Reply with quote  
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  Mara Jade Skywalker
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Yep, me too. Thanks so much to all you guys!
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 PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:25 am Reply with quote  
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  Mara Jade Skywalker
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So how goes the war, you ask?

Well...it went very, very well. She seemed to be in a excellent mood and I couldn't sense any of the tension or walls that have always been present lately. We just talked and laughed and hung out for a good two hours at the coffee shop before she had to get home for something else she was doing. So I took her home and it seemed to end in very good standing. Granted...it wasn't what it was, but it's so much better than it has been. I mean...I suppose I have to eventually admit to myself that we'll probably never be as great friends as we were during that strange moment of time back when, but at least we can be friends again, and I look very forward to it.

Thanks much again! Smile
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 PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:33 am Reply with quote  
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  Caedus_16
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Congratulations Mara! Hopefully this is the start of something better between you two.
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 PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 3:05 pm Reply with quote  
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  Darth Judicar
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Aw that's so good! Congratulations! So you think you guys are good (or will be good) again?
_________________

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
-The Code of the Sith

In mourning . . . Crying or Very sad


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 PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:22 pm Reply with quote  
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  Mara Jade Skywalker
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I do believe it's headed that direction! Hopefully it'll only get better. Smile
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