Log in to check your private messages
Comments on "Master of the Sword"

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    The EUCantina Forums Forum Index » The Library's Archives View previous topic :: View next topic  
Comments on "Master of the Sword"
 PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 10:41 pm Reply with quote  
Message
  Aush
Administrator
Administrator

Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Posts: 980
Location: Midwest, USA

Have some comments for Master of the Sword by Darth Skuldren? Feel free to post all those comments here!
_________________
"Changes are nice--but so is continuity!"

"Then you saved my life. How disgusting. How unfortunate."
"No, don't gush on so. It was nothing, really."


View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address

 PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:45 am Reply with quote  
Message
  Mara Jade Skywalker
Administrator
Administrator

Joined: 15 Feb 2008
Posts: 5549
Location: Beyond Shadows

Wow, Skuldren, that was excellent! I sat down to read it last night and this morning, and almost couldn't put it down! It felt just like one of the short stories I might read in the back of Darth Bane or something. Congratz!

There were a couple of choppy or what seemed to be unncessary parts, but only a couple. Overall the story flowed extremely well and also contained sections that begged to be fleshed out at a later time. To have gone into detail during that moment would have been to drag the story out too much, but it laid a great foundation for a possible future tale.

The only criticism I have at this point is making sure you explain who is the focus of a certain action. In other words, there were times when you would say, "He felt a searing pain in his side." And I would be confused as to which character was feeling the pain. Things like that.

Otherwise, excellent job! I look forward to reading Tales of Darth Skuldren, which I plan on getting to in the next week or so. Good work! Smile
_________________

"It's not about the legacy you leave, it's about the life you live." ~Mara Jade Skywalker



View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website

 PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:35 pm Reply with quote  
Message
  Darth Skuldren
Moderator
Moderator

Joined: 04 Feb 2008
Posts: 6476
Location: Missouri

Awesome Mara, thanks for the critiques. Cool
_________________

"I believe toys resonate with us as humans, we can hold them them, it's tactile, real! They are totems for our extended beliefs and imaginations. A fetish for ideas that hold as much interest and passion as old religious relics for some. We display them in our homes. They show who we are. They are signals for similar thinking people. A way we connect with each other...and I guess thats why I do toys. That connection." -Ashley Wood


View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website

Post new topic   Reply to topic    The EUCantina Forums Forum Index » The Library's Archives

Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 5 Hours

Display posts from previous:

  

Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group
Jedi Knights 2 by Scott Stubblefield