Pirates of the Carribbean: On Stranger Tides: Entire review will be in spoiler tags to avoid releasing spoilers for anyone...
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This was a step in the right direction for the franchise. I could stand to see another one after this, and I was terrified of this one before seeing it.
The best part of the movie was the first 30 minutes or so. It was fun, ridiculous, and felt like old-school Pirates. Jack is beyond less annoying in this film as compared to the last one.
Story: This time it was ok. It was lifted from the Tim Powers novel of the same name, and it went ok. The Spanish appearing in the end was worthless and the look of the fountain was disappointing but the use of the mermaids in their scene was great and I loved Ponce de Leon's ship despite no explanation as to how it got up in the cliff. I will point out that the magic words to open the fountains entrance should not be in Spanish as the fountain is older and it makes no sense that it would be opened by something that came into being after the fountain did. Same thing goes for the silver chalices with Spanish writing on them, why are they required for a ritual older than they are? Seriously Disney, didn't you learn to think things through after the last movie required a paper explaining it with the DVD...?
Barbossa: He is my favorite living character, and this film didn't change that. He worried me in the beginning when he showed up with an unexplained peg leg that didn't get acknowledged and wearing makeup and a wig but after all was said and done he's more powerful than ever and everything is explained. He's still awesome as hell.
Blackbeard: Ian McShane was perfect for this part. As a smaller villain in a standalone film he did great. He was evil through and through and you could never tell if he was serious about how much he cared about his daughter. His obsession stemming from fear of death by Barbossa was cool, and his odd use of voodoo intrigued me. I loved his ships in bottles collection as well as his sword of magic and his ship. Just a fun, well done character that won't come back again. Good for a single installment.
Spaniards: Annoying. Their appearance in the end honestly ruined that scene for me. It was stupid.
Penelope Cruz: We get it, you're Latin and feisty. What is your purpose other than that? Oh wait, you don't have one? Gotcha
Zombies: These weren't really zombies, they were just creepy/hard to kill people. They are there to replace the fish people from the last two as malformed crewmen and serve no other purpose. I'd have rather done without them or had them have more of a purpose or better backstory. Maybe be more like zombies, something more at least.
Missionary/Mermaid: Possibly the most interesting side story. The awesome mermaid sequence led to this and I honestly like both characters. I think the missionary plugged his viewpoint rather well and the mermaid came off as lovable as well as deadly. She was the only true sympathetic character actually. Some wonder what happened when she drug him to the depths, but I don't care because I'm an optimist so I think they lived happily ever after.
There you have it people, I've obsessively typed out a huge review. Enjoy
I prefer this one having its standalone status, it allows it to be fun instead of heavy like the last two
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