Relationships (or lack thereof)

This has been a really rough week. A while back I posted about my dream girl and how she seemed to be showing interest in me, but I felt too young to commit. Well... I'm older now so I wanted to find her and give it a try. I looked her up online and, lo, there's a picture of her with a big smile in the arms of this... guy. As many have felt in my position, I feel as though my life is over. To top it off I'm sick. Life sucks. Sad

(Feel free to post your own woes/joys.)
_________________

Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.

If you don't mind me asking Reep, how old are you (roughly)?

I used to be incredibly unlucky in love. It was actually quite funny just how unlucky. Every single girl I ever had feelings for always found me to be the "friend."

My friend and I drafted a play about it.

But I met the love of my life in the summer after Third Year (May 2007, I was about to turn 21.) We've been married since July 2010.

In my social group, I was the least skilled with the opposite sex, and yet was the first to get married.
_________________
It was the year of fire… the year of destruction… the year we took back what was ours.
It was the year of rebirth… the year of great sadness… the year of pain… and the year of joy.
It was a new age. It was the end of history. It was the year everything changed.
The year is 2261.
The place: Babylon 5.

Master Joined: 22 Dec 2010 Posts: 1799 Location: Carcosa

Do you know for sure that the guy isn't a relative?

I used to have trouble with fixating upon one person, but it's really not worth the grief that you create for yourself, especially if you were never in a romantic relationship with her. The problem is that you create an idealized version of what you would hope for a relationship to be like with that person and it's like an absolute best case scenario, and even if you were to get into a relationship with the person, it probably wouldn't meet that.

And you can't let yourself focus on someone that is unavailable to the point that it precludes you having happiness with someone else. You have to move on and find someone else. Spending your life waiting for someone to become available inevitably leads to that same idealization, if it's not already a product of it, and the actual relationship isn't going to match it.

Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4419 Location: Korriban

Master Joined: 11 Jun 2009 Posts: 1349

Sorry to hear about that, Reep... It always sucks when someone you're interested in is taken already. Sad

I'm 18 and I have never had a girlfriend. I socialize with females very well, and I have several female friends, but I've never really had the motivation to commit to anything serious. Confused

I will be 18 on the 20th.

Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4419 Location: Korriban

There's nothing wrong with that in healthy doses man. Getting over someone is a process and it takes different lengths of time for everyone. Just do what helps and get some space if you need it and one day you'll look at her and it won't really feel like anything.
_________________
Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.

Yup, he isn't a relative. He seems like a nice guy though, so *grits teeth* I'm happy for her. She's such a special girl, she deserves the best so if he's the right one for her, I can't say much if I really care about her.

It was pretty hard to see her again though. Thanks, guys, for taking the time to listen to my drama by the way. Smile

I'm quiet tired of hearing "there's plenty of fish in the sea", because right now the sea feels like a puddle. I'll have to remember to never say that to anyone who's gone through heartbreak.
_________________

Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.

Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4419 Location: Korriban

I wasn't directing the "fish" statement at you by the way (or anyone here per se), it's more what I'm hearing in the "real world". I just threw that on as an afterthought.

Master Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Posts: 4419 Location: Korriban

Remember last year when I broke up with that one girl? We'd dated 18 months and I'd been so certain I'd marry her and I wanted no one else. She was so perfect for me. But I changed and so did she and what we both wanted changed. Now I've begun dating a new girl. We're 7 months in and I'm incredibly happy, I wouldn't want to go back to my old relationship even if it was available. I realize your situation is different but you're gonna mourn. And I'm definitely not recommending that you just wait around for her to be single, by all means meet new people, have new experiences and such. But if she becomes single and you haven't moved on then maybe you can have your shot. If she's that amazing then having her in your life as a friend may have to cut it for now. Its hard to look at that way but its true. If you're in her life then maybe you'll have a shot, or maybe you'll become comfortable in the friendship and meet someone new and follow that path instead. You never know, it all boils down to what is most important to you and what you want the most.
_________________
Perfection is a lifelong pursuit requiring sacrifice. The only way to get it quicker is to sacrifice the most.

Master Joined: 22 Dec 2010 Posts: 1799 Location: Carcosa

Well, I got used by a girl this week and it sucks.

Dang. Was it serious or something you'll get over tomorrow?
_________________

Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter east.

Master Joined: 22 Dec 2010 Posts: 1799 Location: Carcosa

It's a girl I've known for a long time and dated previously. She cheated on her boyfriend with me and I was led to believe she broke up with him because of this, but she didn't.

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