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Unfortunately, I almost agree about Luke's wedding. As a fledging Bantam reader back in the day, I panicked when I realized Luke was married and I couldn't figure out when or where. I'd read all the novels up to that point, I was positive of that. Imagine my surprise when I realized it happened in a comic! I got my hands on Union as quickly as I could, and was rather disappointed at the anticlimacticness of it all. 
The character development of it all, though, is incredibly important. Agreed. As a new reader, one simply needs to realize that Luke marries Mara. Read the Trawn trilogy and Hand of Thrawn duology, and you are good to go for further reading. In my opinion. Zahn really fleshes out Mara's character the most, understandably, so I feel those are the only really important Mara books one needs to read prior to the NJO.
As for the Solo kids...I agree their childhood years were incredibly lacking. But I guess reading all the YJK and various Bantam books that included them made me feel like I'd known them since birth. Which...I kind of did. By the time the NJO came along, I was able to appreciate the maturity they gained in those books, comparing backwards to what I'd read previously. While I agree that their Bantam storylines are fairly irrelevant, I guess I just feel like reading a few books where they exist prior to the NJO seems important. If for no other reason than to appreciate their growth in the NJO. *shrugs*
I dunno. This is all from a reader who read every book from Truce at Bakura onward in perfect chronological order. I'm kind of CDO like that. 
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"It's not about the legacy you leave, it's about the life you live." ~Mara Jade Skywalker
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It is the future you see.
