Razaar awoke with a startle. "What is it Frender?"
"You had me worried there boss, looking spaced out and all. Something on your mind?"
Saul looked over at the sharply dressed Ryn. Frender wore a crisp black uniform adorned with silver piping and a double row of polished buttons. The outfit was even modified so his long tail could fit out the back comfortably.
"I was just think about Wil. That old Bothan was one smart barve. Had real bark on him you know."
"And a mean gullet for Corellian whiskey too." Frender added with a laugh.
Saul smiled in return. "Yeah, he certainly could out drink anyone after a tough battle or long flight." He let out a sigh. "I just can't get over that last flight. I told Wil we should've took some more back up, but he insisted on going out with just one escort...ME."
That last word came out like a tombstone crashing to the floor. It carried all the burden of a thousand regrets and a million different questions. What if I'd brought along a full flight, or maybe if I'd shot down that fighter first instead of the other one. So many thoughts and doubts, but none of them changed a thing. Wil was still dead and Saul felt the guilt for it. Yet no one else blamed Saul for the commander's death, no matter how much he was loved or missed, the blame somehow fell on Kad. Saul knew better. The only reason anyone blamed Kad was because he was second in command and while the commander was off ship, he was left in full command. They blamed him for not sending in the freighters or even the gunships to rescue their beloved commander.
"You know Frender, there wasn't anything any one of us could of done. Once those missiles launched, that was it, fate and destiny were sealed. They were just too close to be shot down, dodged, or outrunned."
Frender put a reassuring hand on Saul's shoulder. "Look at it this way boss. At least you got the guys who did it. Wil lived a good long life and enjoyed it. He went out the way any of us would want to go."
Saul took a deep breath and nodded his head. "Your right." He rose to his feet. "But some demons just don't ever go away Frender. You just have to deal with them."
And with that, Saul wandered off across the hangar. He wasn't sure how much more time they had before the attack, but he knew the klaxons would sound before it was time. Until then, he needed to take a walk.
"I believe toys resonate with us as humans, we can hold them, it's tactile, real! They are totems for our extended beliefs and imaginations. A fetish for ideas that hold as much interest and passion as old religious relics for some. We display them in our homes. They show who we are. They are signals for similar thinking people. A way we connect with each other...and I guess thats why I do toys. That connection." -Ashley Wood