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Genesis - chapter 1 from a book I am writing (Not star wars)

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Genesis - chapter 1 from a book I am writing (Not star wars)
 PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:55 pm Reply with quote  
  Lord Loss

Joined: 06 Dec 2008
Posts: 1
Location: Arizona

Hey, I am Lord Loss from KotORMMO.net, and I just wanted to post my story here for some critique or ratings. Thanks.


Chapter 1

I don't know what what was wrong with me, but I just felt sick. I have been angry, sad, lonely, and I have been in my room all week.

“Austin, come down stairs please!” my mom yelled. I didn't respond to her but I walked downstairs. My mom and dad were staring at me, sternly. I was in trouble and I knew it; that was the worst part, I have been wanting this day to never come, but of course – it did. They were in the kitchen sitting on our old wobbly table. I looked at their faces and they both looked away and at the piece of paper in front of them.

“Sit down, now,” Dad declared. “We have been trying to help you with school but you never let us. We want you to succeed and have a good life; the way you are going I can picture you as a bum on the streets.”

“Honey, don't say that. Austin has the potential to be a bright young man, but he just doesn't use his brain,” my mother protested.

“Austin, your grades are not great, well they aren't even good! You have two C's and two D's. How do you expect a college to accept you?” Dad said a little angrily. “Explain to me why you chose this path.”

“No, I will not explain why I chose this “path”. You both still treat me like a little kid, and we live in what looks like a dump already. I guess we are all bums huh Dad?

“We live here for a reason sweety, your father is a Biologist and his work has made him research some animals in the woods. When your father is finished here, we will move back to Arizona.”

I used to live in Arizona until we had to move to Littleton, Australia. Australia is really exciting and I have always wanted to go there, but the town I live in is so small and everything is cloudy – it's depressing.

“No, I heard you guys talking to each other two weeks ago and you both said you loved it here, you don't hate it like I do. You both are liars!” I stood up and my chair fell down, with one of the chair's legs breaking in the process. I ran from the kitchen and went out the front door, slamming and hitting everything I could while I was in my anger stage.

The night sky was beautiful. I have always loved to stare at the stars and point out each constellation. My favorite constellation was Sirius; the dog has always interested me. I always wondered about the Moon too – have we really landed on it? Right now the Moon is full, and I love it that way because it looks as if it holds a great amount of power, and beauty. I never have enough time to watch the sky since I am growing older and school is taking all of my time.

When I ran from the kitchen I went into the forest about half a mile from my house. I always go here when I am sad or angry. I just walk around the forest and think about everything: my parents, school, my life, my future, my past. My past has been bad – I was supposed to die when I was born, but something (I believe) saved me – aside from the doctor. I usually always think about this moment, and I could remember some parts of it. In my psychology class we have learned about babies and information about their brains, and my psychology book said that all people have childhood amnesia. I really do believe I could remember my birth. Do I have a special purpose on this planet? I don't feel like I do, but there is something I can't figure out: when I was born I should of died, and my doctor has saved me. Yet, I don't believe my doctor actually saved me, there were three women watching over me I felt. I feel like these three women have saved me. One was in middle-aged, one was old, and the other was a young women – the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I can't explain what I saw, but I saw three women and they had something to do with my living.

I put my hand in my pocket and got my cell phone out - I had 11 missed calls. I won't check who it was but I am sure I had an idea. The time was 12:11 AM. As soon as I put my cell phone back in my pocket, I heard a howling noise. I couldn't see much besides the Full Moon barely lighting the forest. I could hear things more than I could hear a minute ago. I heard whispers, growling, footsteps, and it sounded like the sounds are coming towards me.

“Help!” I heard in my ear, it sounded like a man.

“Who are you?” I started to look around and I couldn't see anything. Well, I never could see anything clearly because it was almost pitch black! I pulled out my cell phone and opened it so it can light my surroundings. The cell phone light didn't help much, but the Moon light and the it combined was better than nothing. There was no one beside me.

“Help!” I heard the voice again. I was frightened and I couldn't see the man or find him. The sound was faint and I had no idea what was happening.

I now asked, “Where are you?” and there was no reply. I felt the wind press on my face and my hair was flowing with the wind. “I can't help you if you don't tell me where you are,” I said frighteningly. I didn't know what to do: do I run home? Or do I try to help the man? I took the path, a path that will probably kill me or traumatize me for the rest of my life, though I like risks. I called out for the man, but I couldn't find him. I tried to hear for the mysterious man but I couldn't hear him at all, until-

“Help me boy! You are close and I need you to see me,” the voice was not a whisper anymore, but like the man was yelling at me.

“Beep...beep,” damn! My phone battery was about to die, I had to hurry. I started to run towards wherever I thought the man was. The forest was dark, and I felt like everything was watching me. I bet there are creatures by the tree next to me, and I bet they are going to eat me tonight. I shouldn't think like that but I am too scared to not be worried.

“OW!” I shouted. I ran into a thorny bush, and the whole front of my body was covered in thorns. Everything is against me – why must I endure this to help the man? I was terrified, what if the bush was poisonous? As I ran some other way I tried to pull some thorns out and got a lot out of my stomach. The thorns hurt more and more with every step I take. I turned left because a tree was in my way, and I turned the wrong way; something was watching me. I saw bright, yellow eyes. I stared back, scared, terrified. I knew this was a wolf, I just knew it – and it saw me. As I stepped back slowly, I rustled some leaves and I tripped on a log. I fell on my butt and tried to get up; as I tried, I saw four more yellow eyes. They were closed before I tripped but I set them off. The first wolf I saw started to howl, and that was when I started to run.

The wolves were running after me, almost about to seize me, feast on my guts and lick up my blood. I didn't want to die like this, if I could choose I would like to jump out of an airplane and have fun dieing, instead of being eaten. As I ran I saw something else watch me, something else with red eyes. I couldn't see the shape of the body but it looked like a man. The figure was scary, but it might be the man that wanted help. I didn't dare run towards him, if he needed help I shouldn't try to help by bringing a pack of wolves on him – though if I did....I started to run towards the figure. The thing looked more frightening every time I took a step closer. The shadowy figure was a man, and hopefully the man.

“You have found me, boy,” the man said to me. “Now come closer an-” I interrupted the man by shoving him away from me and he grabbed my arm and flung me behind him. I tried to fight him off but he was stronger than I thought he would be. He was around six feet tall, and I was merely 5'3”. He looked down at me when I tried to punch him in his groin to get away. His red eyes were glaring – he looked evil – I would rather be eaten by the wolves than have him stare at me like that again.

The pack of wolves stopped twenty feet away from him. The wolves could have killed me off sooner if they didn't see the man. Is this shadowy man their master?

“Hey, why aren't they coming to attack us? They were about to rip me to shreds!” I yelled to him. He growled, not one of the human type growls...but a wolf like growl. The wolves started to dart toward the man and me, and I tried to run away but the man held me there with his finger around my sweater line. He accidentally - or maybe purposely - scratched me on my back. His nails were sharp, and it felt as if my back was being torn open.

“You piece of sh-” this time he interrupted me. The red-eyed man started to mumble some words under his breath and I felt more alive, and more powerful. I don't know what it was, but I didn't feel scared or hurt – was I dead? The man turned to me again and smiled. It wasn't a good smile either. The wolves were almost ready to attack us and I suddenly felt something overwhelm my body. Fear has struck me again – I tried to run back but my body wouldn't budge. Something was controlling me! I couldn't help but scream (I couldn't though, but I felt like I did in my mind). The lead wolf was about to jump on the man but the man...the man turned into...one of them! I felt like I was about to faint. I didn't think things like that were possible. Werewolves are real!

The man – the wolf – jumped up at the lead wolf and started to bite it's neck. The other four wolves were still running towards me! What do I do? I can't move, and I don't know how to fight...especially a wolf. The thing that controlled me started to run towards the wolf leading the run of the rest of the pack. My body picked up a stick and started to gnaw at the end of the stick. This process was very fast and the stick became sharp in a few seconds. I started to run again towards the wolf and when we got near, I struck the wolf in the stomach as it leaped upon me. When the wolf fell down I pulled the stick out and with my hands I ripped open it's stomach and started to devour it's insides.

It is hard to describe to you the taste, the smell, and what my mind went through. I felt like throwing up but I couldn't. I wanted to die, I just couldn't live with this! This will haunt me through the rest of my...what I felt 'cannibalistic life'. I began to think: what if this wolf was a human, like the man? I killed someone, not under my freewill however – something was controlling me and I had to stop it, but how? Before my body could finish eating the wolf, two more wolves came to attack me. One of them jumped at me and the other ran for my legs. I wonder what my body would do, I just hope I (my body) doesn't kill another wolf, or possibly another human.

The wolf that jumped opened it's mouth to bite my neck, or somewhere on my face, and what I saw I couldn't believe. My hands were thrown up and my left hand grabbed the upper part of the snout and my right hand gripped the lower part, and the thing controlling me thrust my hands apart: destroying the wolf's mouth and killing the wolf. How was I this strong? I am skinny, unmuscular, and I rarely work out, I am shocked at my power. I didn't have enough time to fight the wolf that was about to bite my legs, but the controlling force tried to move my body out of the way but the wolf bit right above my knee.

My body didn't let me scream, or try to look at the wound. But the wolf had it's teeth locked onto my leg. The force tried to swat the wolf away, and thankfully, the man came to my rescue. He wasn't a wolf anymore. He pulled the wolf off and bit it's neck with his wolf teeth - the wolf died instantly. There were two more wolves left if I can remember, but they were no where to be found. I felt relief as I felt I was able to control my body again. I fell to the ground, and fainted.

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