I've been putting this off for as long as possible, but I can't wait too much longer, lest I forget what I was going to say. I will be as nice as I possibly can, but then there's only so much mercy I can dish out. So, to the review:
First of all, let me just say that overall this movie is very dull. It doesn't lend us much of anything, and the entire things feels cheaply made. For a Star Wars movie, I was extremely disappointed. But I'll go into more detail with the Pros and Cons.
1. The Clones. I was very impressed with the Clones, one of the only bits of the movie that really amazed me. The entire Kamino bit, minus the cafeteria scene, was great. I love the fins on their helmets.
2. The Kaminoans. Those guys were the coolest! Got to be some of the coolest looking aliens in the saga.
3. The Younglings. I know there are those who find that scene stiff, but I really loved seeing the little guys swinging their lightsabers around at the remotes.
4. Hayden Christensen's face. He had the perfect face for Anakin Skywalker, as he was extremely good at looking angry. His acting, on the other hand...I'll get to that later.
5. The speeder chase on Coruscant. I didn't like the entire thing, but overall it was pretty awesome.
6. The club. I liked seeing a different type of atmosphere...so the club was a good thing.
7. The Geonosis arena. Okay, as much as I don't like this movie, I absolutely love the Reek, Nexu, and Acklay. I wish I had my own Reek! This was another bit of story that we hadn't seen before. A gladiator arena type battle was pretty darn cool.
8. Jango Fett. Need I say more?
9. Daniel Logan as Boba. I really liked him, actually. I thought he did a great job, and he looked very much like Temuera Morrison.
10. Geonosian Speak. The clicks and clacks...cool stuff.
11. The seismic charges. Those things were so awesome.
12. Yoda's Force and lightsaber skills as displayed against Dooku. Awesome!
Okay, I've been very generous at finding this many Pros for the movie. Unforunately, there will be many more Cons.
1. Hayden Christensen's acting. You knew it was coming. While I don't find his performance quite as haunting as I used to, it's still pretty bad. And while he's not monotone, he uses the same inflection for every sentence! This can get bothersome.
2. The decor inside any Coruscant building, and perhaps Naboo...I can't remember. It's so boring! Everything was blue! Honestly, there were times when I was younger that I was convinced they'd forgotten to fill in the blue screen background.
3. The Fireplace Scene. No comment necessary.
4. Padmé's outfit while they're 'refugees'. Oh, yeah, she looked like your typical refugee in that outfit.
5. Anakin wielding two lightsabers. I'm sorry, but it was so built up as an awesome part of the movie, and then it lasted about 3 seconds. There should have been more choreography with the two lightsabers. As is, it's just disappointing.
6. The CGI. While it's pretty good overall, it's nothing like what we were presented in RotS. Most things just look not quite real. Which is as bad, if not worse, as looking very, very fake.
7. Obi-Wan's hair. Agh! This disgusts me in so many ways.
8. Anakin's forwardness with Padmé. I don't know, but he was so...rude and ungentlemanly about it, that I can't believe she fell for him! I know she was supposed to, of course, but their romance should have been developed differently. Now it just makes me look at Padmé in disgust and think, "You honestly fell for that?!"
9. The way Padmé treated Anakin like a little lost puppy. He acted 3 years old half the time, and she just said, "Aw, come here little Annie. Let me make you feel better. *strokes his hair*" Or something odd like that. Weird.
10. That stupid button on Padmé's ship. She presses the same button twice, and these are unlabeled buttons, I might add, and it does two different things. I'll go ahead and point out that she presses the exact same button in RotS and it does something totally different for a third time! I'm sorry, but that was a pretty bad oversight, or cop-out. And as for the unlabeled buttons, even your everyday microwave has every button labeled.
11. I find it very hard to believe that the Jedi Council would have sent 200 Jedi (or however many it was) to save just Obi-Wan. They lost so many...surely they would have sensed the impending loss? If they knew there were that many droids, they shouldn't have gone. If they didn't, they wouldn't have sent so many Jedi.
12. The pear. It's too fake, and too soft. Just...annoying.
13. The animals Anakin rides in the field. So...disturbingly odd looking. And once again fake.
14. Padmé's jump onto the Reek. There is no way a non-Jedi could have made that kind of jump without hurting something. Unless she was a gymnast or something...and I really don't think she was. Or did I miss that in her list of abilities?
15. The battle droid factory. The whole sequence was weird. Especially when Padmé dances with the Geonosian. I don't know, I just didn't like it.
16. Dialogue between Anakin and Padmé any time. Except for when they were by the waterfalls. I actually liked that exchange.
17. The fried decoy. I hate to be so heartless, but I have trouble taking that scene seriously when her hair is so frizzed! That's not really a Con, though.
18. The decoy's accent. When we first hear her on the ship, she sounds like Padmé. When she's dying on the landing pad, she has a pretty thick accent.
19. Jango's death. I thought he would have been smarter. Period.
20. Obi-Wan's wounds seem too slight to have him permanently out of the fight like that.
21. For Size-Matters-Not Yoda, he sure seems to have some trouble with that tower thing. That's just always bothered me.
22. The name. Attack of the Clones? George has always been straightforward with his titles, but come on. First of all, that makes the Clones sound like bad guys. Second...it's just really bad.
Anyway, I could continue, but I digress. To summarize, the movie really was pretty bad. See all the confused faces? I just couldn't figure out what was going through George's head. It's watchable, much more watchable for me than it used to be, but it could have been so much better.
I'll have to watch it again before I can really soak it all in, figure out what I really like and dislike, but for now, that's my take on it.
"It's not about the legacy you leave, it's about the life you live." ~Mara Jade Skywalker